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How do I know this advice works? I have raised 6 awesome teens and am currently raising two more. I have used these tips and I use them every day.
When my wife and I got married, we were both pretty set on taking some parenting classes. We both came from dysfunctional homes and we both wanted to be really good parents. So we enrolled in a class at church. It was good and we learned some things. Then we took a “class on tapes” given by some family therapist type of guy. I didn’t like it because, although it was funny, he pitted the kids against the parents and focused on teaching the parents how to not get bamboozled by the kids. I kind of feel like we are on the same team – the kids and the parents. We tried some other classes and read lots of books. In each class and from each book, we learned things. For example, I learned that it is bad to be angry and threaten a punishment that is too large and not well thought out. This was something I did often and I had a hard time fixing myself on this one, so I started grounding the kids from Brussel Sprouts every time I was angry, and then applying a real punishment after I had cooled down. “AAAAUUUUGGGGHHH. You are sooooo grounded…No Brussel sprouts for 3 weeks!!!!” Well anyway, we learned and we applied. We had eight children. Not only did we raise them, but we raised them to be motivated, educated, and successful. We wanted our children to be able to go to good universities, excel in life, be able to have good relationships, be service-minded, hard-working, and raise good families themselves. We didn’t want our children to go to college at Bob’s Lakeside Technical college because that is all they could qualify for and then end up working in a tattoo parlor and spending their life with a live-in girl or boy friend and never taking on a family of their own. Four of our children are now grown up and in the college or the “after college” part of life and doing very well. Two are married. The other 4 children are still at home, a Sophomore and Senor in high school and a 3rd and 5th grader. I believe that it is hard to raise teen agers. I also believe that we did pretty good with our teen agers and we found out some of what really works and what really doesn’t work. I wanted to share some of what really worked for us. I am not a professional counselor or psychologist. I am just a father of eight children – 5 boys and 3 girls. If you are willing to pay a dollar to get my wisdom, you can download my app and get my suggestions on a range of topics.